December 16th, 2025 Recognize which attractions lead to love or pain.

I will make myself the subject for the exercise.

1. I am the one who left Ali feeling hurt, deprivved, neglected or betrayed.

2. I was not emotionally available. I was wearing glasses that she didn't like. I didn't say thank you to waiters and I expected good customer service and critized those who didn't privide it. I was not transparent all the time.

3. Those around her would characterize the relationship of deprivation. I treated her poorly by making fun of her.

4. She probably had others who behaved poorly.

5. She is probably attracted to a well travelled, adventrous, kind person like herself.

6. She felt small, diminished, critizied and out of connection with me.

7. Ali’s core gift is her capacity for deep, tender connection. She is brave enough to keep loving, to keep hoping, and to keep trying to repair , even when relationships are complicated. She brings warmth, curiosity, and adventure into people’s lives and invites them into a bigger, more vivid world.

May I never again make someone I love feel small, diminished, or unsafe in order to protect my own ego or comfort.